Is Therapy Right for Me? 5 Signs You Might Need Therapy — A Neurodiverse Perspective

We all go through difficult times, and many people wonder if their struggles warrant professional help or if they should just "tough it out." Therapy is often necessary for those experiencing mental health challenges, and it also can be incredibly beneficial for anyone looking to improve their quality of life and well-being. Maybe you’re not coping with anxiety or depression, but something just feels off. 

As a neurodiversity-affirming therapist, I understand that recognizing when to seek support can be difficult. Signs that you might need therapy can look different for everyone, especially if you’re neurodivergent. My goal is to help you understand if therapy is right for you. In this article, I will outline some general signs that therapy might be helpful, and I’ll also touch on how these signs might manifest if you’re autistic or have ADHD (but keep in mind that neurodivergence includes more than just autism and ADHD). And please know, this article isn't about convincing you that MY services are right for you—it's about helping you decide if therapy, with anyone, might be helpful on your journey right now.

Common Misconceptions About Therapy

Before we get into the signs that therapy might be beneficial, let’s be real - there can be a lot of stigma around therapy, and that stigma prevents a lot of people from going. So let's address some common misconceptions:

"Therapy is only for people with serious mental illness." 

The truth is we all face challenges. Therapy can help anyone deal with situations that may feel overwhelming for them, regardless of whether they have a severe mental health problem. Stress is real, and we could all benefit from reducing that stress in any way we can. Therapy can be a valuable resource for anyone trying to make positive changes in their life. 

"Going to therapy means I'm weak." 

It’s not weak to be vulnerable, open up, acknowledge challenges, and commit to change. It is strength and self-awareness and determination. It’s something to be proud of. 

"I should be able to solve my problems on my own." 

Sure, that would be nice, but no one (and I mean no one) can solve every one of their problems completely on their own. Sometimes, we need help, and that’s okay. Sometimes, we require professional guidance, and that’s okay too. 

"Therapy is just talking about feelings." 

Well…there will be a lot of talking about feelings, but modern therapy approaches are diverse and evidence-based and often provide practical tools and strategies for real-life challenges. Also, sometimes you do just need to talk about your feelings with someone who will not judge you, who will validate your experience, and who will hold space for you. 

5 Signs You Might Need Therapy

So now, let’s get into it. What are the signs that therapy is right for you? 

1. You're finding that your emotions are getting bigger and harder to handle 

Emotions are normal, and it’s completely normal to feel negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, or irritability some of the time.  If those feelings persist–whether it’s anxiety or depression or something else–if they don’t go away, even after time has passed or you’ve used up your coping mechanisms, it might be time to see a therapist. 

If you have ADHD and/or autism, this might look like:

• More frequent shutdowns or meltdowns, even over things that didn’t used to trigger you

• Getting emotionally overwhelmed by unexpected changes, transitions, or breaks in your routine

• Feeling like you have no emotions at all, or like you have too many all at once and can’t sort them out

• Noticing that masking your feelings around others is starting to wear you down

• Feeling mentally exhausted and drained after a whole day of trying to “hold it together”

• Constantly feeling like you're “on edge” or like you're always behind on something, and feeling inadequate because of it

• Feeling unable to follow through on things, and feeling frustrated with yourself

• Feeling like your brain and body are just maxed out—too much noise, too many things happening, and you can’t seem to shut it off

A therapist can help you delve deep to figure out what’s bothering you and find authentic ways to start feeling a little more grounded. 

2. You're coping in ways that don’t feel healthy or don’t feel authentic to you

We all have different ways of coping, and sometimes we choose coping strategies that really serve us, like maybe spending more time outside or with loved ones, or talking through those feelings with a supportive friend. But we all know that sometimes we choose coping strategies that really do not feel productive (helllloooo party-sized bag of white cheddar popcorn). If you’re relying on alcohol, food, shopping, oversleeping, or other things that just don’t feel right to you in order to numb your feelings, it may be time to seek professional support. 

If you’re autistic or have ADHD, this can look like:

• Hyperfocusing on things like work, games, or hobbies to avoid dealing with stress or emotions

• Scrolling endlessly or becoming so hyperfocused on a special interest that you neglect taking care of yourself or other responsibilities 

• Using food, substances, or even rigid routines as a way to feel some control

• Going nonspeaking, zoning out, or dissociating and calling it “just relaxing” when it actually feels kind of scary or hollow

• Masking so hard that you lose touch with what you actually want or feel

Sometimes our coping tools start out as helpful—or at least functional—but over time, they stop working. And unfortunately, they can start causing more problems than they solve. These fixes may feel good in the moment (and sometimes that’s okay—we all need a break from our brains), but those feel-good moments are usually short-lived. They don’t really get to the root of what’s going on.

So if you’ve got a nagging feeling of, “This isn’t really helping anymore,” that’s a pretty good sign it might be time to try something different. A therapist can help you figure out what’s driving those patterns and help you build healthier ways to cope—ways that feel like they actually work for you (goodbyeeee white cheddar popcorn). But therapy doesn’t mean giving up the things that make you feel safe (okay, maybe not goodbye forever, white cheddar popcorn)—it just means adding more tools to the box.

3. Your relationships are suffering

All relationships have conflicts from time to time, but if you are having recurring conflicts with partners, family members, friends, or colleagues, that might be a sign that something else is going on. Relationship patterns that leave you feeling misunderstood, isolated, or stuck in cycles of conflict are a sign that something might be wrong, and they also take an even bigger toll on your overall mental health.  If you keep finding yourself stuck in the same arguments, feeling constantly misunderstood, or walking away from interactions thinking, “What’s wrong with me?”, it might be time to take a deeper look.

If you're neurodivergent, this might look like:

• Feeling like you’re “too much,” “not enough,” or just out of sync with others

• Masking your real thoughts or needs to avoid conflict or rejection—and crashing afterward

• Constantly over-explaining yourself or getting told you're "too sensitive" or "too blunt"

• Feeling like you missed social cues or unwritten social rules, then overanalyzing everything you said or did afterward

• Saying things without thinking and accidentally hurting someone’s feelings, then feeling extremely guilty 

• Forgetting important things in conversations (like someone’s birthday… or the actual point you were making) or zoning out mid-conversation and feeling guilty or ashamed afterward

  
  

A therapist can help you notice patterns that keep showing up, figure out what’s behind them, recognize communication differences, and help you connect with people in ways that actually feel better and authentic to you. 

4. There have been big or overwhelming changes in your life

Major life events—whether positive or negative—can throw us (any of us) off, and it can be hard to navigate alone. If you find yourself feeling lost or disorientated in a way that affects your daily life or emotional well-being, it may be a good time to seek a therapist. Some of these big changes may include things like:  

• Career changes or job loss

• Moving to a new location

• Relationship beginnings or endings

• Having children or becoming an empty-nester

• Loss and grief

• Health diagnoses

If you’re neurodivergent, these changes might feel even harder to manage for a number of reasons, including:

• Sudden transitions in routine or environment can lead to emotional overwhelm, shutdowns, or feelings of being “out of control”

• Unexpected changes might be harder to process, leading to an increased sense of anxiety, confusion, or frustration

• The emotional intensity of major life changes might feel even bigger, harder to regulate, or harder to make sense of

• Adjusting to new routines or ways of living can feel disorienting, leading to difficulty managing everyday tasks or taking care of yourself

  
  

If you’re going through any of these things, it’s especially important to check in on how you’re handling it and whether you could benefit from some support to help you adjust and find your footing.

5. You feel "stuck" or unfulfilled

Sometimes there's no obvious crisis or problem, but life just doesn't feel right. Maybe you feel like you’re going through the motions, stuck in a routine that doesn’t excite you, or struggling to find the energy to do things that once brought you joy. Maybe you feel disconnected from your own passions or unsure of what matters to you anymore.

For autistic folks or those with ADHD, this feeling can often be intensified by:

• Difficulty finding a routine that works or sticking to one

• Struggling to balance personal interests and responsibilities in a way that feels satisfying

• Feeling like your brain is constantly jumping between different things, making it hard to focus on what matters

• The pressure of trying to meet expectations that don’t align with your natural way of being

• Feeling exhausted from masking or from trying to fit into a world that isn’t made for you

Therapy can help you reconnect with yourself, your values, your goals, and help you create meaningful change that actually feels true to who you are.

What Next? Options for Finding Support

If any of this speaks to you (not literally) or makes you think, “Hmm..that could be really helpful to me,” it might be time to explore therapy options. The next steps can definitely feel overwhelming. There are a lot of options out there, and knowing where to start can be tough. Finding the right therapist is a process (often intimidating) and there are a lot of factors to consider. 

1. Type of Therapy

There are a lot of different types of therapy and it’s certainly not a “one-size fits all” approach. It can help to do research on the different types of therapy. Some of the big ones are: cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, psychoanalysis, acceptance and commitment therapy. And of course my personal favorite: neurodiversity-affirming therapy (which is as varied as we are). 

If you’re not sure or don’t feel like reading up on a bunch of different therapies (which is fine), many therapists offer initial consultations where they can walk you through their approach and see if it feels like a fit.

2. Therapist's Experience or Specialty

Not all therapists specialize or have experience in the same things. Some work primarily with anxiety, others specialize in trauma or depression, and some (like me!) address these issues through a neurodivergence lens. It’s important to find someone who understands what you're dealing with, especially if you have specific needs.

That said, just because a therapist specializes in something doesn’t mean they only work with people in that area. Most therapists have a range of experience and work with lots of different kinds of clients. And depending on what you're looking for, you might not need someone with a super specific focus.

3. Trust

Therapy is a space where you should feel comfortable and safe to speak your truth without fear of being judged. It might take a few tries to find a therapist you connect with, and that’s completely okay (we don’t like everyone we meet, right?).  The most important thing is that you feel heard and understood, and that there is a sense of trust between you and your therapist.

4. Location and Availability

Consider whether you want to meet in person, virtually, or a combination of both. Location and scheduling flexibility are also important—life can be busy, so making sure your therapist’s hours and format work for you will help you stay consistent. If you’re trying to figure out if online therapy is right for you, check out my article [INSERT TITLE AND LINK HERE]

5. Money (yes, we have to talk about it)

Therapy can be expensive, so it’s important to check whether your therapist fits into your financial goals and needs. If you’re using  insurance, make sure your prospective therapist accepts your plan. If you’re looking to use out-of-network benefits, confirm that your insurance will reimburse (and how much). If you’re paying out of pocket, make sure their rate is something you can afford consistently. If you need a sliding scale (in other words, a lower cost than their typical rate), check to see if that’s something the therapist offers. Therapy is an investment, and it’s important that it’s sustainable for you. 

Next Steps: Considerations for the Neurodivergent

If you’re neurodivergent, finding a therapist who understands neurodiversity as a natural variation rather than something to "fix" while also understanding that there are some real challenges that neurodivergent folk face, can make all the difference in how beneficial therapy feels. Whatever approach you choose, remember that therapy is about supporting YOU in creating the life that feels most authentic and fulfilling.

Here are a few things to consider when looking for support:

1. Neurodiversity-Affirming Therapy

Be sure to look for a therapist who is familiar with ADHD, autism, or any other neurodivergent traits you identify with. Some therapists, like me, specialize in neurodivergence and are also neurodivergent themselves. We can offer support and strategies that don’t try to change who you are or hide your neurodivergence. If you want to know more about what neurodiversity-affirming therapy actually looks like, check out this article: [INSERT TITLE AND LINK HERE].

2. Communication Style

How a therapist communicates can make all the difference. If you have difficulty reading social cues or struggle with long, abstract conversations, look for a therapist who uses clear, direct language, doesn’t solely rely on speaking for communication, or is willing to explain their communication patterns to you.

3. Flexibility in Approach

Neurodivergent people sometimes need a more flexible approach to therapy. If traditional methods don’t seem to be working for you, talk to potential therapists about their willingness to adapt and try new strategies. You deserve a space where you can figure out what works best for you.

4. Understanding of Masking

If you mask (hide your true self) in social settings to fit in, it’s important to find someone who understands the emotional toll it takes. A good therapist will help you explore this and create a safe space where you can unmask and be yourself without judgment.

Is therapy right for you?

Whatever approach or therapist you choose, remember that therapy is about supporting YOU in creating a life that feels as authentic and fulfilling as possible.

If you'd like to learn more about my approach or schedule a consultation, you can find more information here. I provide online therapy for people in NY and work with children, adolescents, and adults. But more importantly, I hope this article has helped you reflect on whether therapy might be beneficial for you right now, regardless of who you choose to work with.

Disclaimer: This blog and all posts are for informational and educational purposes only and are not substitutes for professional mental health care. If you’re in crisis or need therapeutic support, please contact a licensed therapist or emergency services in your area.